Crossfit/ Paleo Fail

Now I know why I called my blog 'Crossfit Confessions"... confession time...

My name is Josie and I have failed at crossfit and paleo. It has been 6 days since I last entered the box and a few beers and pizza have passed my lips also.

I am due back tonight. A very strange feeling. Actually I am beside myself trying to think of an adequate excuse as to not go.

Log of Fails
Thursday
Ate homemade cake (chocolate deliciousness), had 2x wines. I did burpees so not so bad-ass fail.

Friday
Had a yogurt, chips, about 7 beers and 4x slices of pizza. I did zero burpees. Massive fail. Budger watch: fatness seeping back to my muffin top. I am almost reaching for the construction wear.

Saturday
Brekkie buffet so I HAD to have 2x mini pastries, toast with vegemite, 2x OJs. I did burpees (x14). Feel soft and wads of fatness are saying hello.

Oh also didn’t have lunch, had 2x beers instead, a plane food cookie... and then... I had half a large pack of salt and vinegar crisps, about 4x slices of pizza, 1.5 more beers, and a few Tim Tams. My goodness fatness has returned.

Motivation has left and negative self talk is taking over. Budger watch: Yep they are back, I caught a glimpse of myself in a shop window reflection – 2x blobs of budger have moved onto my hips.

Sunday
Scrambled egg. Good. Sausage. Good. Omelette. Good.... and about 7 Tim Tams. Crapness. I did burpees (x15).

Monday
Back on it. Paleo goodness all day. I am very hungry though and cannot stop thinking about chocolate covered baklava or muesli slice.. My goodness. I am off to watch some crossfit YouTube’s now to get motivated.

What a mess. Don’t tell anyone

Miss Josie xoxo

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Day 2

Post on the run.. I am on my way to crossfit day 2. Absolutely crapping myself. Will post more later. Please please please no more burpees. I did a hundred and five yesterday and am still feeling the embarrassment.

The day after...

After many deep breaths (read: hyper-ventilation), 1x fight with boyfriend, and 1x a very very strong skim latte (yes I am a lactose-paleo sorry but whatever), I made it into my box (crossfit BodyM - look it up). I deliberately put off looking at the WOD on whiteboard until 1 minute before start time, so I couldn’t chicken out.

Yay no f-ing burpees. I could have kissed Jase the box owner. Brilliant. I can do this. WOD: 2-4-6-8-10 Hang DB C+P. and in between:

10 KB Swing
20 Push up
30 Air squat.


Looks alright hey? I had to have a bit of tutorial with the Hang DB C+P as being a technical movement and me being massively uncoordinated this posed with a slight issue of wtf. I went through the movement in slow motion. After almost knocking myself out a few times with the dumbbells, and flinging my arms around whilst bouncing my legs simultaneously, I managed to get enough technique to proceed with the WOD.


Did alright too. I upped my KB weight from 8kg to 12kg, and did crappy girl push-ups, but didn’t finish last. Which, for me, means I did bloody excellently. I also finished before my boyfriend, f-ing awesome. Not that I am competitive much, but hey bragging power and what not. Sorry babes if you are reading this - I know you did RX so are still heaps better than me. In these early stages I NEED EVERY GLORY.


After the WOD, I had to get take away. Bloody crap I know but forgot to take out meat (#firstworldproblem). Ordered a roast beef roll sans roll, and the takeaway chick pretty much had a mental break down. Her "What no roll?" me: "nope", her: "em but I can only sell that with a roll'. Me: "just go through the motion, darl, and don’t put it in a roll, and put it in a container instead, I won’t tell your boss". Her: "em em em ... ok". Me: (thoughts: f-ing hell, I am going to smash this chick right now... just give me the f-ing meat...) "ok". Note to self: the meat was shit. I think I caused the takeaway chick her job. I will never eat that shit again. Mantra: I will eat a banana in times of need. The world does not know how to deal with non-grain eaters right now.. Until they do without losing it, I will fend for myself.


I can no longer raise my arms above my head and have crappy hair today as a result, but who cares I am elite. xoxo

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Starting out

I am starting my confessions a few days into my CrossFit journey. First’s things first: I am a procrastinator and will always put off what I can. This is probably why I have been fighting budgers for my entire adult life. I want a quick fix. CrossFit is not this. CrossFit is part of my re-programming into a person who cares about themselves, a person who does not run to baddies when the going gets tough. I am taking control of my life. From yesterday in fact.



My first real day at CrossFit was Monday 21 June, a few days after my 35 birthday. What the F. Turning 35 was a real turning point for me. I need to stop kidding myself and get serious. Serious means: eating well, and crossfitting hard. No negative self-talk and turning to easy fixes. Ciggies well they are another story. Bloody evil things.


About me: I live a simple life with my hubby to be and cat. I work hard and have a tendency to be grumpy. Most. Of. The. Time. I hate making a fool of myself. I hate to be singled out and hate to be bad at things.

I first tried CrossFit a few weeks ago. I was totally crap. I finished a good 20 minutes after everyone else. Ok probably was actually only 2 minutes after everyone, but gosh it felt long. Everyone was cheering me on, chanting my name.. Total embarrassment but I didn’t quit and finished my WOD. That is one thing I never do. But I didn’t go back to my box for ages. I still drank the Kool-Aid and completely fell in love with CrossFit, the culture, the people etc. I read every article, every message post, watched all the YouTube’s and even attended the regionals for Australia. But I didn’t step a foot into my box. Blimey. The problem: It is hard and I am the worst in the box and I hate that. Let's just say maybe I have an ego issue?


The turning point: My turning point was when my bestie joined her box. Sure my other half goes all the time and loves Crossfit. But it is different when I can talk about crossfit to my girl. Anyway, Here I am CrossFit. I am not quitting. I have said my goodbyes to pump class and hours and hour of useless step machine. And hello to nutcase training: CrossFit.

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